Night.

It's night again. Tonight I sleep in my bed for the last time for 6 weeks. Tomorrow night I sleep in California for the last time in 6 weeks. Monday I arrive in Michigan.
My bag is pretty much packed and I'm going to make my backpack a 'personal item' so I can take a duffel bag. Oh, the joys of Airline regulation.
I feel like I'm stretching out in new and almost scary ways right now and it feel so strange. I'm in a haze and eveytime i look out the window it's night. The days have gone so fast.
This heart of mine is here and there and everywhere. I'm under the same roof as so much pain and I have to board that plane with the faith that I can't fix that pain. I have to willingly leave for so long, with the knowledge that it is going to hurt someone. And that's not simple.
There are days when I wish my life was much simpler. But the reality is that it isn't. The only good thing about stress is that it keeps off the Freshman 15, I guess. Oy Vey.
Breathe out.
Tonight I drove my backroads and I breathed in the wet hay and dust smell that they have. I looked up at the stars and I felt the wind on my arms as it leaned on the door. I listened to county and worship and I started to panic. Because I suddenly felt like my world was crashing down around me and there was nothing I could do. It was terrifying and took such a cinematic moment and turned it to nightmare. I felt like I could hardly breathe and I just kept swallowing and praying and singing louder and louder until I could focus again.
The backroads are beautiful, but at night they can change. Just like that.
I wonder what my life is going to be like the next few weeks, and I know that it will not be simple. I'm going to meet a lot of people and make friends and then say godbye to friends. My friend Julie will come visit and that will be so nice. Still, I don't want to let go of her just yet.
So I suppose that I'll take each day as it comes. Nice and easy. Day and night.