Characters.

Today, I saw a movie and I told someone the ending. 45 minutes before it happened.
This movie awakened something inside of me and for my social sake, I will not tell you what it was. But I sat there in the darkened theater and everything in me wondered about everything in me. I wanted to be able to write such amazing characters. They crept in like the sun through the trees at dusk. They were deep and broken and related to me. They told me something, too. Something that wasn't in the script.
I often get distracted by school and by work and by my life. I totally forget about the dreams that I once harbored. The dream that once started to come alive on the computer screen in front of me.
I once dreamed that these ideas of mine. These words of mine. These sentences, and thoughts, these exclaimations, and paragraphs would somehow magically turn into something worth saying. I dreamed of getting a letter in the mail from a publishing company, or a screenwriter's guild. I dreamed of one day holding in my hand that little card that says, "Equity."
I walked out of the theater with things on my mind. I thought of the two manuscripts sitting somewhere deep in this hard drive. Collecting digital dust. Using up memory.
So, why?
Why do they sit there? There is no use in having a dream unless you can actually reach for it. At one point, I reached. But I seem to have pulled back my hand in fear and in the onset of reality.
Of course, until I write to the publishers, I'll never get any kind of letter back.
The fact of the matter is: What? What could I possibly be waiting for?
They probably won't hear me.
They might not even reply.
But I don't think I can sit here any longer and stare at a blank screen, only to fill it with words I'm too afraid to speak. No, this needs to get out there.
So, thanks.
Thanks for being one of the only souls who listens to this one.
Maybe there will one day be more of you.
Byt until that day comes, it's just us, friends.
And as seemingly discouraging as that can be, it's kind of nice in moments like this.

I smile to myself as the dawn of risk rises from it's sleepy daze and looks me in the face.