Life highs and goodbyes.

I laughed a lot today. I reconnected with a friend. I saw a person I'd like to befriend. I smiled at the baby behind me in church.
I talked a lot today. Almost too much. But if I hadn't it wouldn't be me.
I thought a lot today. About being single. About weddings and invitations.
I laughed a lot today. With my co-workers. Sharing stories.
I wonder why it is that God doesn't allow some things to happen. Why he allows things that bring pain so immensely into our lives. We make it through and we pray, 'May that never happen to anyone else I love' and then it does. Oh, I do not like that.
Today, things changed. My life was reminded of a few things that maybe I should look into. My hair changed directions. Literally. It was weird--my part moved.
I prayed today for another friend. She is leaving us and following God. I so wish I were as brave.
God, make me brave. I am afraid, but I still laugh.
a lot.
Today.
Praise God.

Mr. Magoruim's Wonder Emporium.

This movie has a few amazing lines that got me thinking the other night. I feel like I'm always waiting. I'm waiting to move to Chicago. I'm waiting to break the single spell. I'm waiting for laundry to be done. I'm waiting for another great thing to happen.
I can't help but think/feel/understand/realize that God didn't intend things to be this way. He intended us to take in every moment. As I was driving to return a guitar to a friend tonight (mine was broken. :(... ) I was taking everything in. The countless couples walking around the lake. The children riding their bikes. The baseball players standing in the field and leaning against fence posts. Where one story ends, another begins.
God allowed and blessed me so much to live here on the Central Coast. I can't help but breathe in at times like this. The sun is setting. My head is vaguely hurting from a day of Ultimate Frisbee in the sun. I will miss everything here, but that doesn't mean I miss it now. I'm still here, for crying out loud.
Yesterday, I went to San Luis with my mom and my sister and I found myself so tired. I was just sitting there at Splash Cafe *plug.* and my mom and sister both asked me if I was okay. Instead of my usual crazy and wierd self I was just sitting there with my arms crossed on the table, slumping into them. I was emotionally exhausted from this week. What a week it was!
Oh, the beauty of my Lover is that he allows me to get it all in. Even when I'm in this stage of exhaust and melancholy, he still takes me into his arms and we watch the sunset together. He still gives me just enough gas in my car to make it around the lake so I can fall in love again. He is to me, at this moment, the lover of my soul. I want to simply come home to Him, unwind with him and relax in that.
Go read Psalm 37:3-5. It is my heart. It is His truth. May it give you what you need right now. I'm off to live.
Grace and Peace.

A newseum!!

This morning I saw on the 6:00 Daybreak News that there is a 'Newseum' opening today in Washington DC. If you know me, you know that I'm a total news junkie. So, I am totally stoked!
The reason I was watching the news was because I woke up a bit before 6 and ran up a hill. Like, a mile-long hill on the outskirts of Atascadero. I went with some ladies from my bible study and they had gone ahead (guessing that I was a no-show) so I had to catch up to them. This meant running. My poor body didn't know what to do. The sun was rising and it was something straight out of 'The Lion King.'
God was really teaching me this morning the difference an hour or two makes in waking up early. I was able to run, which I love; watch the news, which I love; see the sun rise on a hill-top, which I love; lift weights, which I love; and spend time with God--which I love!
Words cannot express, readers.
The only bummer is that I was realizing how much I am going to miss this place. Here on the Central Coast things are silent in the morning and you can almost feel God's mercies being new every morning. One of my favorite lines from a song is Nicole Nordemon's line, " You mercies are new every morning, so let me wake with the dawn. "
How great is my God. The lover of my soul. I know I've been vague with this Chicago thing, so I'll fill you in later. Hah! you must wait. Oh, and about the pictures, it's just a reminder that the Angels are still the best. :)
Grace and Peace

Chicago...

So, the letter came. Praise God!
I was so excited about it that I came right home. I wanted to call people, but first I wanted to call out to Jesus. So, I got in the car and listened to the song 'Move me aside' by Lindsey Kane. What a blessing these words have been to me:
Move me like you move the trees

Change me like you change the leaves

Calm me like you calm to seas

Lord, move me aside and move

Free me like you free the rains

Break me like you break the chains

Use me like you use the pain

Move me aside and move.

Lord, here am I

Move me aside and move in me.

Move in this place

Until I embrace you, King of Kings

Move me aside

Water me like you water the land

Hold me like you hold out your hand

Love me like only you can

Lord, move me aside and move

Rule me like you rule on high

Fill me like you fill a desire

Lift me like you lift the sky
Move me aside and Move.

Apart from you I can't do anything

Let it be more of you, less of me

And would you use me and show me

it's all for your glory

Move me aside and move

Lord here am I.

What an amazing God we serve! I can't wait to see what lies ahead in Chicago and beyond.

Grace and Peace!

God knows I want to write.

...but I think he's trying to teach me a lesson on patience. I've got writer's block like you wouldn't believe. I am amazed.

    I'm sitting here. Just because I've been sitting for about 5 hours now, I feel like life is over. I've wasted it! Oh, no! Part of me is like, "Relax, Melissa...it's okay to be lazy..." the other part of me wants to go running until the arms of God open up so I can collapse into them. Sheer physical exhaustion seems like a nice idea. Then, maybe, my mind will stop working. Oh, I feel lazy..

    Today I went back to school and it went surprisingly well...Oh look: A Cuesta Commercial is on TV.

I don't want to waste my life. If I don't do this tomorrow, stop reading this blog:

1. See Jesus.

2. Go running.

3. Write a few essays

4. eat healthy.

5. send money to a missionary...

6. write a letter of encouragement to someone. 

7. Smile at my fears. 

Seriously, folks. I've got to get on this. I feel better now that THAT'S of my chest. :)

Desires of my heart.

I wanna write a screenplay.

I wanna write a screenplay. 

I wanna write a screenplay.

I'm going to see John Piper tomorrow, which could be fun, because he's a great christian author and I work at a great Christian bookstore. Perhaps this will cause a little more motivation toward writing said screenplay, since he's speaking on his latest work, "Don't waste your life."

We college Students will be, Lord willing, inspired. God, help us.

Anyway. I'm sitting here, looking at books about screenwriting, and I saw this great paragraph in, "Screenwriting for Dummies" (yeah, yeah...)

It all begins with an idea. You’re driving through the city (or waiting in traffic as the case may be) and all of a sudden a childhood memory flashes before your eyes. This would make a great film. You’re reading the newspaper and a third page article sparks an array of images. This would make a great film. You’re minding your own business in some public forum when you overhear a startling conversation and—you guessed it—this would make a great film. This part of the book is about the all important idea, finding it, nurturing it, imagining it on the screen. Because you know what? It would probably make a great film, and if you don’t write it, who will?

So, there you go. I'm off to start a screenplay. Yikes. Do you ever feel that you may be meant for something big, but those who have delusions of it are known as schizophrenics? I don't want to cross the line, but I don't want to waste my life. 

I guess when I'm in love with God, it's all a little bit of the crazies sometimes. :)

The problem with publishing your life...

...is that your work is never done.
More to come tomorrow.
Because I'm hiking in 7 hours.