Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thoughts about the Beach.
So, here is my heart right now. It's been so good to feel that intimacy with Christ. Like, I've been busy and around a lot of people lately, but now that it's over, I've got that whole, 'it's-just-us-again,-Love' feeling and I take refuge in that.
I'm going to cheat, and Copy/Paste this from my journal. I know someone is reading this besides me...So, hi?
Okay...
"I’m sitting at Avila Beach. I was listening to music and watching the waves crash. After these storms, it’s as if even the ocean is exhausted. The waves weakly hit the pier. They throw themselves so hard the first time that by the time they are at the shore, they are only a few inches high. How often am I like this beach here? I push so hard into some situations that I end up tripping over my over-ambition finally stumbling into the arms of God.
For a while, I just sat here, watching the sleepy waves and the Grey sky. The rain spilled down. I realized that I may not have enough gas to get back, so I went to ask a local hotel where the nearest station was. I didn’t think there was one in this town. I was right. So, I’m crossing my fingers about that one.
Just walking did me a lot of good. I am totally sore from Frisbee. Mainly in my bad leg. This is making it hard to walk without physically using my hands to move my leg in and out of the car. Of course, as I went to look for a gas station on foot, I started to realize a few things. First off, I need to walk more than I need to run.
A man walked by and said, “It’s good just to walk…” I think I often run at something. Last night I re-arranged my room on a whim, and I don’t know if I like it, which means I’ll probably spend a lot of time today moving it around again. I exhaust myself running 90 percent of the time I’m tired.
I also realized, when I went walking, that on my right( I had been looking at the gloom on the left) it was sunny. I thought the beach was so rainy, when in reality, it was totally sunny! It’s beautiful on my right and now spreading across the sky. What an amazing misconception that was.
Now as I look at the once-tired waves they look re-energized in the sunlight. It’s almost as if they are crashing into each other. Playing with one another.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in the rain and storm that we are like, “God? When will this end? I’m hoping for you!” When all along, he was on the right. We just weren’t looking for him. We run in search for him, when we just need to take a walk. It was never that hard.
What a beautiful day you’re giving me, God. You take away my fears and my pain. I love you so much for that. Thank you for being there, even when I’m looking so hard I don’t see you. May today be a blessing. It already is."
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